High Noon Drink Review: Is This Summer’s Hottest Seltzer Worth It?

Right, let’s get real about hard seltzer for a minute. I remember not even knowing what the heck a “hard seltzer” was five years ago, and now, it feels like every pool party, tailgate, or brunch in July has a cooler full of them somewhere. Suddenly there’s High Noon everywhere. Seriously, is it just my friend group, or is this stuff multiplying?

People don’t just like High Noon, they rave about it. I mean, my neighbor Barb (the grill queen, IYKYK) swears by the stuff—she says it’s the only canned drink she’ll touch now. But between all those trendy flavors and some, uh, ambitious prices, I figured it was high time for a brutally honest, no-nonsense review. Here goes nothing.

Table of Contents

The High Noon “It” Factor: What’s the Big Deal?

If you’ve tasted, say, a White Claw and a High Noon back-to-back, you’ll notice they’re not really playing in the same league. High Noon rolls with actual vodka—yep, corn-based, not the “malt beverage” everyone else is using. It makes a difference, at least to me. I get zero weird aftertaste. Some friends even say they feel less bloated, but, hey, results may vary.

High Noon Drink Review: Is This Summer’s Hottest Seltzer Worth It?

Another thing, they use real fruit juice for flavor. Most of these drinks rely on, uh, “natural flavors” (whatever that means). High Noon? There’s usually a bit of haze in the can, and I’m not mad about it. It tastes more like what I’d hope for if I mixed a splash of juice with liquor—fruit-forward, not too sugary, no weird chemical zing.

Let’s just say: the branding is totally sunshine-and-good-times. The kind of thing you want to grab for the beach, or maybe just feel like you’re at the beach if you’re stuck at your cousin’s third-floor walk-up.

So. Many. Flavors. (I Lost Count)

Honestly, it’s hard to keep up. Last summer, I thought I’d tried them all, but this year? New surprise flavors in those variety packs, and suddenly I’m debating Papaya vs. Apricot at the store like it’s serious business. Anyway, here’s a rough cheat sheet that’s slightly out-of-date by the time you read this:

Main Fl